dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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