Midget sex pt 2 tonight
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
