i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
