My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
