I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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