The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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