i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She's the barista slut.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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