i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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