I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
