He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
