you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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