What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
