i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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