so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
