the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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