i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
