The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
