I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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