i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
