some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
