I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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