how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
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