Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
thus making me awesome and them whores
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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