This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
