i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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