I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
