meet me or not, i'm out of control
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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