the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
