Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
