i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My bed smells like the plague
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
