Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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