Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
this hospital has no fireball
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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