Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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