my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
