Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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