Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
