Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
