What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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