I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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