You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
