Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
