No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
