i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
