we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
