my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
