How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
