I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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