Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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