the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
