I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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