Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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